Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
