Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
