Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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