Sponge bath it is.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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