white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
