Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
