Your tits are I can't wait for
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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