addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
