the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
now i know why i became what i already was.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
