Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
