New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
