so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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