I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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