is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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