as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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