I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
