hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
