When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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