I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
