I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
