Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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