Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
