he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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