How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
