Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
