i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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