I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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