Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
