I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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