I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
