went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
