Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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(313): View more from Michigan

I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

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(972): View more from Texas

i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

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(480): View more from Arizona

He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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(478): View more from Georgia

this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.

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(323): View more from California

Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.

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