I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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