Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
