I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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