Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
