did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
