the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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