So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
