omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
