yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
