it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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