This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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