it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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