have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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