Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
