I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
