i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
