i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
