Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
